Feeling Worthy and Valuable at School

By Kathleen Maxwell, on September 28th, 2011

At some point you leave your family unit and you take your interpersonal skills and talents to school. Do you know how to share and negotiate or do you forcibly bully other children and take away toys? Are you coordinated and athletic or do you drop balls and misfire wildly when you throw? Are you able to do the math problems the teacher writes on the board quickly? Can you read out loud without making mistakes? All of these many different skills create feelings of success or failure in children. Now the problem is to please not only adults but to please peers as well.

It would be nice if children were told that no one pleases everyone. It would also be helpful if kids were reminded that in this modern world you do not have to associate with people from the time you are born until you die if you don’t like them. The time of being isolated in a village are over. However, you can still become emotionally blocked by people who were not kind. For example, if as you were going through school people gossiped about you, or if you were always picked last to be on a team, or if your teacher made you feel bad about your ability to do anything it can create a sense of unworthiness. Feeling unworthy puts you into survival mode which means you pull back into yourself and attempt to be noticed as little as possible to avoid rejection or ridicule.

Are you a Lone Ranger?

One response to feeling rejected is becoming the “Lone Ranger”. A Lone Ranger relies on themselves and does as much as they can by themselves. Initially this solves the problem of being rejected, however, it creates another problem, isolation. We didn’t come to the earth plane to act alone, we came here to learn how to be with others in relationship.

What can parents or friends do?

If you have a friend or child who has been isolated by rejection, gossip, or ridicule that person needs to have someone who shows interest in them by witnessing and valuing them. If you are feeling isolated, you can ask this of one of your friends or admired relatives to help you move out of survival mode and into community mode.

One of my favorite teachers Sonia Choquette suggests that you witness and encourage the person by communicating with the person every day. You can do this by phone or email. Ask the following questions:

What have you done to nourish your spirit today?
What have you done to nourish your creativity today?
What have you done for your physical health today?

Witnessing someone helps them to continue doing their personal work without fail and it helps them to re-enter the community as a positive contributor. Many of us have seen a child misbehave because they want attention. For example, a child might fight over a video game with a sibling when they are feeling lonely.

Redirect the bad behavior by asking the child to do something they do well such as read you a story or draw you a picture, or if they are older something interesting that they learned that day. By witnessing a positive action of the child, you will teach them a positive way to engage with you to get your attention.

If you are feeling isolated and can’t find someone who will help you, consider a LifeLine Technique session. The LifeLine can help you to release any stuck emotion including isolation. Click on the Book Now Icon to get an appointment so that you can remove your internal barriers to connection with others and your happiness.

For more information on what you can do to resolve issues of not feeling valuable, lovable, or worthy as an adult, sign up to the right for Seven Lessons You Came to Earth to Learn.