When I was a newly wed, I received the advice don’t go to bed angry. I was young and the advice seemed silly and a little bit controlling. I remember thinking I am entitled to my feelings and if I want to be angry I’ll be angry. If my husband has upset me, I have a right to stay upset until he apologizes. As luck would have it, I was married to someone who also felt the same way. So we went to bed angry and woke up out of sorts. In time, it was difficult to remember the details of why I was angry. Over time, I just had a general feeling of unhappiness that clouded all of my interactions with my husband. I thought my unhappiness was his fault because he hadn’t apologized. I also thought it was his fault that things weren’t straightened out.
Without realizing that giving him one hundred percent of the blame, also gave him 100 percent of the power. I had given away my power to make myself happy as well.
Your Happiness Is Your Job
Take back your power by deciding that you are responsible for your own happiness. A decision is one of the most powerful tools you can use to change your life. Put your hand on your heart and say the words. “I decide______________ then fill in the blank with your decision. Some simple but life changing things you might say include:
I decide to leave work today before I am so exhausted that I don’t have the energy to go and have some healthy exercise.
I decide from now on to buy only healthy snacks at the store so I don’t have temptation at home.
I decide to go get a haircut, so that I’ll feel like I look good.
You are in charge of your happiness. Consciously choose to make the decision to do things that make you happy so that you can go to bed feeling good.
Tomorrow’s topic: Defusing the anger time bomb aimed at your spouse.
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